Mushroom powder

My mom takes this expensive Korean powder made up of crushed-up rare mushrooms that is supposed to provide energy and restore health. My parents want to share it with me, so that I can brave the cold New York winters and stay healthy. The first time she gave it to me, she told me to put a small amount of it in a lukewarm water to dissolve it and drink it. Another time she said to just take a half teaspoon and drop it into my mouth, dry- then swallow it. I almost choked. The last time, she told me to mix it with a teaspoon of honey.

My dad kept saying "You only need a peanuts size of it. Don't use too much! Only the size of a peanuts!"

Of course, Paul kept hearing something else and was cracking up. My parents did not think this was funny.

The other day, I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she asked me if I was taking this mushroom stuff. I hadn't. She was like "Ai-yah! This is expensive stuff! It is healthy for you! You must take it. It is good for your... ah... (something in Chinese)."

Me: "Huh? I don't know what that is."

My mother explained half in Chinese and half in English what she meant.

Me: "Oh, I understand, it's your immune system. It's good for your immune system."

Mom: "What? How do you say it?"

Me: "IM-MUNE SYS-TEM. IMMUNE SYSTEM"

Mom: "Oh, yes, I see! Like on the computer! It's good for your email system!"

Me: "Huh? No, not EMAIL. It's IMMUNE."

Mom: "Yeah! That's what I said! EMAIL!"

Me: "NO! I-MUNE. I-MUNE."

Mom: "How do you spell it? E-M-A-N-E?"

ME: "NO, "I-M-M-U-N-E. IMMUNE SYSTEM."

Mom: "That's too difficult. I will say EMAIL System. You know what I mean."