I got really sick over the Christmas holidays this year. I mean, seriously sick, like throwing up in the toilet sick, which I NEVER do, unless I'm hungover or something. It must have been some sort of crazy 24 hour stomach flu bug because almost everyone in my office got sick too over that weekend. And I will always remember the terrible Christmas I spent hugging the toilet, yay.
My husband dutifully called up our friends who we had Christmas Eve dinner plans with to cancel, as well as calling his family who we were supposed to spend Christmas day with. I briefly chatted with my mom to wish her a Merry Christmas and when she found out that Paul had stayed home and taken care of me instead of visiting his parents, she got really upset.
"Why should he stay home if you're sick?!? It's not his fault that you're sick. He should be with his family on Christmas!! You're sleeping all day anyway. Why should he not be able to enjoy Christmas just because you can't? So selfish."
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Eyeliner
One morning, I woke up, made a quick cup of coffee, and wandered upstairs and watched my mom get ready for her day's errands. She was dressed already (slacks, sequined sweater, light silk scarf around her neck), had her ubiquitous two curlers in the back of her head, and was applying her makeup.
I was sitting on the edge of the tub chatting about random stuff when she looked at me in the mirror, and interrupted, "Will you put some eyeliner or something on? I can barely see your eyes."
I was sitting on the edge of the tub chatting about random stuff when she looked at me in the mirror, and interrupted, "Will you put some eyeliner or something on? I can barely see your eyes."
Wedding dress
My mom came with me once when I was trying on wedding gowns. She spent more time roaming the aisle looking for Mother-of-the-Bride outfits than helping me pick out dresses. When I finally found a few that I liked, the saleslady had to go looking for my mom so that she could send her to the dressing room.
My mom doesn't agree with my simple, modern aesthetic, so I knew she would have her typical blunt comments. "You look fat in that dress..." or "Why would you pick that one?! You have no boobs in that dress. Don't you want to pick a flattering dress?! All these dresses are too plain and boring."
She rushed back out and grabbed a few of "her favorites", all of which had extensive beading, lace, buttons, draping, etc.
She explained, "People are going to be bored during the ceremony. They want to look at something interesting, like the long line of buttons down the back, or sparkly beads or something".
My mom doesn't agree with my simple, modern aesthetic, so I knew she would have her typical blunt comments. "You look fat in that dress..." or "Why would you pick that one?! You have no boobs in that dress. Don't you want to pick a flattering dress?! All these dresses are too plain and boring."
She rushed back out and grabbed a few of "her favorites", all of which had extensive beading, lace, buttons, draping, etc.
She explained, "People are going to be bored during the ceremony. They want to look at something interesting, like the long line of buttons down the back, or sparkly beads or something".
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Tele-marketer phone call
(ring ring)
Mom: "Hello?"
Telemarketer: "blah blah blah blah...."
Mom: "Thank you. I am not interesting." (hangs up)
Mom: "Hello?"
Telemarketer: "blah blah blah blah...."
Mom: "Thank you. I am not interesting." (hangs up)
My mom forgot my birthday AGAIN...
April 2010
You would think that after the first time she forgot my birthday, it wouldn't happen again. But no... it did.
The crazy thing was that my mom called me a week before my birthday. "Laurie! I'm calling you to let you know that I am not forgetting your birthday this year! Because, you know, what happened last time... you and Karen got soooooo upset."
So the day of my actual birthday, I got the phone calls, the emails, the texts, the cards, the love from all my friends and family- but not my parents. Again, I waited a day, another two days, a third.
About a week later, we were talking on the phone again, and I casually mentioned that she forgot to call me on my birthday AGAIN. But she was indignant and very defensive. "No I didn't!! I called you a week BEFORE your birthday! I told you, I wasn't going to forget. See, I was the first one to remember!!"
Me: "Well, mom, you didn't actually wish me a 'happy birthday' during the phone call- you just reminded me that you weren't going to forget my birthday."
Mom: "Hmmmph.... At least I called you. So what, I didn't say 'Happy Birthday'. You want everything? Life is not so easy you know. You don't get everything you want. You complain if I don't call, then you complain when I call."
You would think that after the first time she forgot my birthday, it wouldn't happen again. But no... it did.
The crazy thing was that my mom called me a week before my birthday. "Laurie! I'm calling you to let you know that I am not forgetting your birthday this year! Because, you know, what happened last time... you and Karen got soooooo upset."
So the day of my actual birthday, I got the phone calls, the emails, the texts, the cards, the love from all my friends and family- but not my parents. Again, I waited a day, another two days, a third.
About a week later, we were talking on the phone again, and I casually mentioned that she forgot to call me on my birthday AGAIN. But she was indignant and very defensive. "No I didn't!! I called you a week BEFORE your birthday! I told you, I wasn't going to forget. See, I was the first one to remember!!"
Me: "Well, mom, you didn't actually wish me a 'happy birthday' during the phone call- you just reminded me that you weren't going to forget my birthday."
Mom: "Hmmmph.... At least I called you. So what, I didn't say 'Happy Birthday'. You want everything? Life is not so easy you know. You don't get everything you want. You complain if I don't call, then you complain when I call."
Monday, January 3, 2011
My mom forgot my 30th birthday
A *few* years ago....
I couldn't believe that my mom forgot my 30th birthday. I mean, it is a pretty big birthday. Both my brother and sister got their calls in, and I got lots of other phone calls, cards, and emails from friends from all over the country. (Texts and Facebook and all that stuff weren't around back then- I think only Friendster? ha!) It was my 13 going on 30 birthday and I had a lot of things planned- brunch, flea market shopping, ice skating in Central Park, a pizza party, and then drinks.
California is 3 hours behind- so before 1pm, I didn't really expect her to call me. But maybe when she was done doing all her errands? Maybe in the late afternoon, she'd find some time? Or maybe she was waiting for my dad to get home from work that night, and they could call together. That must be it. My birthday is on April 3rd, and every year my dad makes this joke that it's "Apple Tree" (sounds kind of like "April Three"). I mean, my parents have never NOT called me on my birthday, so why should they stop now? But they didn't call... My parents forgot my birthday.
So, I just waited and the next day, I was convinced that she would call up and apologize for not calling me... Maybe something came up, and she couldn't get to a phone. Nope, not a call that day, or the next, or the next. I talked to my sister a few days later to let her know how the birthday went, and she was so PISSED. If that ever happened to her.... oh boy. So she got on the phone with my mom and demanded that she call me and wish me a happy birthday and how could she NOT call me, etc. Even after that, my mom still didn't call.
I ended up calling my mom a week or two later and it was a very casual conversation. When I brought up the fact that she didn't call me on my birthday, she said, "Oh, yeah, Karen called me and told me I forgot your birthday. Are you mad?"
Of course, I wasn't "mad" per se, but just, annoyed I guess. Like, Karen already told you to call, and you still didn't?!?
So she started getting all defensive. "What's the problem? It's not like you are a little kid. And no one celebrates peoples' birthdays in China. Everyone's birthday in China is on New Years Day- we don't call attention to the day they were born." (Hello, we're in AMERICA... she's very selective with her customs.) "I don't even know when dad's birthday is. He doesn't say happy birthday to me either. Why would I have to say happy birthday to you? Anyway, the only reason you're here is because of me and dad. YOU should call us and say 'Thank You' for having you. Hmmmph, getting mad that I didn't call YOU on your birthday."
Ummm, OK. Tell me how you really feel, mom.
I couldn't believe that my mom forgot my 30th birthday. I mean, it is a pretty big birthday. Both my brother and sister got their calls in, and I got lots of other phone calls, cards, and emails from friends from all over the country. (Texts and Facebook and all that stuff weren't around back then- I think only Friendster? ha!) It was my 13 going on 30 birthday and I had a lot of things planned- brunch, flea market shopping, ice skating in Central Park, a pizza party, and then drinks.
California is 3 hours behind- so before 1pm, I didn't really expect her to call me. But maybe when she was done doing all her errands? Maybe in the late afternoon, she'd find some time? Or maybe she was waiting for my dad to get home from work that night, and they could call together. That must be it. My birthday is on April 3rd, and every year my dad makes this joke that it's "Apple Tree" (sounds kind of like "April Three"). I mean, my parents have never NOT called me on my birthday, so why should they stop now? But they didn't call... My parents forgot my birthday.
So, I just waited and the next day, I was convinced that she would call up and apologize for not calling me... Maybe something came up, and she couldn't get to a phone. Nope, not a call that day, or the next, or the next. I talked to my sister a few days later to let her know how the birthday went, and she was so PISSED. If that ever happened to her.... oh boy. So she got on the phone with my mom and demanded that she call me and wish me a happy birthday and how could she NOT call me, etc. Even after that, my mom still didn't call.
I ended up calling my mom a week or two later and it was a very casual conversation. When I brought up the fact that she didn't call me on my birthday, she said, "Oh, yeah, Karen called me and told me I forgot your birthday. Are you mad?"
Of course, I wasn't "mad" per se, but just, annoyed I guess. Like, Karen already told you to call, and you still didn't?!?
So she started getting all defensive. "What's the problem? It's not like you are a little kid. And no one celebrates peoples' birthdays in China. Everyone's birthday in China is on New Years Day- we don't call attention to the day they were born." (Hello, we're in AMERICA... she's very selective with her customs.) "I don't even know when dad's birthday is. He doesn't say happy birthday to me either. Why would I have to say happy birthday to you? Anyway, the only reason you're here is because of me and dad. YOU should call us and say 'Thank You' for having you. Hmmmph, getting mad that I didn't call YOU on your birthday."
Ummm, OK. Tell me how you really feel, mom.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Mushroom powder
My mom takes this expensive Korean powder made up of crushed-up rare mushrooms that is supposed to provide energy and restore health. My parents want to share it with me, so that I can brave the cold New York winters and stay healthy. The first time she gave it to me, she told me to put a small amount of it in a lukewarm water to dissolve it and drink it. Another time she said to just take a half teaspoon and drop it into my mouth, dry- then swallow it. I almost choked. The last time, she told me to mix it with a teaspoon of honey.
My dad kept saying "You only need a peanuts size of it. Don't use too much! Only the size of a peanuts!"
Of course, Paul kept hearing something else and was cracking up. My parents did not think this was funny.
The other day, I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she asked me if I was taking this mushroom stuff. I hadn't. She was like "Ai-yah! This is expensive stuff! It is healthy for you! You must take it. It is good for your... ah... (something in Chinese)."
Me: "Huh? I don't know what that is."
My mother explained half in Chinese and half in English what she meant.
Me: "Oh, I understand, it's your immune system. It's good for your immune system."
Mom: "What? How do you say it?"
Me: "IM-MUNE SYS-TEM. IMMUNE SYSTEM"
Mom: "Oh, yes, I see! Like on the computer! It's good for your email system!"
Me: "Huh? No, not EMAIL. It's IMMUNE."
Mom: "Yeah! That's what I said! EMAIL!"
Me: "NO! I-MUNE. I-MUNE."
Mom: "How do you spell it? E-M-A-N-E?"
ME: "NO, "I-M-M-U-N-E. IMMUNE SYSTEM."
Mom: "That's too difficult. I will say EMAIL System. You know what I mean."
My dad kept saying "You only need a peanuts size of it. Don't use too much! Only the size of a peanuts!"
Of course, Paul kept hearing something else and was cracking up. My parents did not think this was funny.
The other day, I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she asked me if I was taking this mushroom stuff. I hadn't. She was like "Ai-yah! This is expensive stuff! It is healthy for you! You must take it. It is good for your... ah... (something in Chinese)."
Me: "Huh? I don't know what that is."
My mother explained half in Chinese and half in English what she meant.
Me: "Oh, I understand, it's your immune system. It's good for your immune system."
Mom: "What? How do you say it?"
Me: "IM-MUNE SYS-TEM. IMMUNE SYSTEM"
Mom: "Oh, yes, I see! Like on the computer! It's good for your email system!"
Me: "Huh? No, not EMAIL. It's IMMUNE."
Mom: "Yeah! That's what I said! EMAIL!"
Me: "NO! I-MUNE. I-MUNE."
Mom: "How do you spell it? E-M-A-N-E?"
ME: "NO, "I-M-M-U-N-E. IMMUNE SYSTEM."
Mom: "That's too difficult. I will say EMAIL System. You know what I mean."
My mom's soup
When my sister and I are both "home" to visit my parents, my mom pulls out all the stops and makes our favorite foods, but also makes all kinds of weird soups/broths that remove the "hot air" and other toxins in our body since she knows that we are not getting the special nutrients in our Americanized diet. Sometimes it's this milky, gelatinous bird's nest soup, sometimes it's an earthy brown soup made from rare mushrooms, and sometimes it's the infamous black chicken with goji berries... I know she has good intentions, and I know these are probably not cheap, so I enjoy them and pretend that they are probably doing good things to my body.
One time, my mom handed my sister, Paul, and me each a bowl of soup and said "Drink this. It's good for women."
My sister and I were cracking up, waiting for Paul to sprout boobs or something.
One time, my mom handed my sister, Paul, and me each a bowl of soup and said "Drink this. It's good for women."
My sister and I were cracking up, waiting for Paul to sprout boobs or something.
My engagement ring
OK, so I've finally forgiven my mom on breaking the secret on the proposal. No, Paul didn't propose in Nantucket on the 4th of July. That would've been too easy, and with the crappy way the trip was going, I was in such a foul mood that I would've said NO. But this is another story.
We actually looked at a bunch of rings together because I am picky and liberal and refused to support blood diamonds. To be truthful, I wasn't even sure I wanted a diamond (my mother was horrified) and I was so unprepared for diamond browsing that I had no idea what the different styles and cuts of diamonds were, etc. We started off looking at rings at Tiffany's, because who can resist going to the Tiffany store on 5th Avenue when you live in NYC? After an hour of being blinded by the sparkles and deafened by the squeals of delighted girls, we booked it out of there, knowing that whatever I got, it would have to be custom made and not shiny and sparkly.
We ended up finding a beautiful jewelry/gallery in the Meatpacking District- Ten Thousand Things- where we immediately fell in love with these curvy, organic rings by Erin Daily. She was able to hook us up with conflict-free diamonds which were in their natural, uncut, and unpolished state (diamond in the rough) that could be embedded into the ring. With a brief meeting to measure my finger and talk about stones, we let her work her magic.
I absolutely LOVE my ring- it is yellow gold with an embedded unpolished diamond.
So, I had been talking to my mom about the ring and she totally huffed and sniffed when I brought up the term "blood diamonds". Then she asked me to email a photo of the ring to Auntie Sohpia's "internet", so that she could take a look at it at her house (my parents do not have/understand the concept of email/internet- those words are used interchangeably in my parents' world).
When she finally saw the ring, she declared "Oh, that is SO you. Very unconventional. Don't worry, on your wedding day, you'll have PLENTY of nice jewelry to wear."
That's my mom.
We actually looked at a bunch of rings together because I am picky and liberal and refused to support blood diamonds. To be truthful, I wasn't even sure I wanted a diamond (my mother was horrified) and I was so unprepared for diamond browsing that I had no idea what the different styles and cuts of diamonds were, etc. We started off looking at rings at Tiffany's, because who can resist going to the Tiffany store on 5th Avenue when you live in NYC? After an hour of being blinded by the sparkles and deafened by the squeals of delighted girls, we booked it out of there, knowing that whatever I got, it would have to be custom made and not shiny and sparkly.
We ended up finding a beautiful jewelry/gallery in the Meatpacking District- Ten Thousand Things- where we immediately fell in love with these curvy, organic rings by Erin Daily. She was able to hook us up with conflict-free diamonds which were in their natural, uncut, and unpolished state (diamond in the rough) that could be embedded into the ring. With a brief meeting to measure my finger and talk about stones, we let her work her magic.
I absolutely LOVE my ring- it is yellow gold with an embedded unpolished diamond.
So, I had been talking to my mom about the ring and she totally huffed and sniffed when I brought up the term "blood diamonds". Then she asked me to email a photo of the ring to Auntie Sohpia's "internet", so that she could take a look at it at her house (my parents do not have/understand the concept of email/internet- those words are used interchangeably in my parents' world).
When she finally saw the ring, she declared "Oh, that is SO you. Very unconventional. Don't worry, on your wedding day, you'll have PLENTY of nice jewelry to wear."
That's my mom.
My mom can't hold a secret
May 2008
By now, my boyfriend Paul and I had been dating for almost 2 years, although one of those years was spent apart (I was teaching English in Japan, so he came to visit me twice in Japan and we also met up in Hong Kong/China). I've always been wary of "love" and occasionally called "Daria", but I was convinced by the second date that Paul was my future husband. My parents fortunately liked him immediately, even though he is not Asian nor a doctor. They were probably SOOOO relieved that SOMEBODY loved me at my then ripe age of 32, and that I was not going to be an old maid forever. My dad used to tell me to "dumb it down because boys were scared of smart girls". Other advice included telling me to be more colorful: "Wear more pink instead of black!" But that is all another story.
Anyway, the sappy story goes on...
So, by May 2008, we had been dating blissfully for about 2 years, and we were discussing moving in together- I made it clear that neither I nor my parents would be happy with that unless we were at least engaged. We had planned a trip to California over the long Memorial Day weekend to celebrate a belated Mother's Day, my brother's and my niece's birthdays, so Paul took that opportunity to make his intentions known to my father- secretly, of course.
Paul and I were planning on going for a jog/walk at a nearby trail after breakfast, but I didn't pack any appropriate socks to go with my old sneakers so I asked my mom if I could borrow a pair of her socks. As we made our way upstairs, Paul took my dad aside so they could speak privately. Now, upstairs, my mom was getting fidgety, and wanted to know what Paul and my dad were talking about. She kept making excuses like "Dad doesn't know how to speak English! He won't understand what Paul is saying. I better go down and check on them and see what they're talking about." (My dad's English is probably better than my mother's.) I finally gave up holding my mom back and went to my room to put on my socks and shoes as she ran downstairs. When I was all ready to go, I came downstairs, and there are my parents and Paul, standing in the hallway.
In the meantime, Paul's account:
Paul, out of respect, decides to tell my father of his intentions to marry me- I guess because he knows that my family is super traditional, and he'd rather not risk any dangers of offending our Chinese traditions by asking me before he asked/told them. Anyway, so my dad was kind of taken off guard- I mean, this is the first time anyone had ever talked to him about something like this. But he was wholly supportive and asked Paul some responsible, if not intrusive, parent-type questions like whether he was planning on freelancing forever, or if he had a stable income, when he planned on proposing, that type of stuff. Paul assured him that he was gainfully employed and responsible and was planning on asking me in Nantucket, where we were going over the 4th of July weekend in just a few weeks. My mom, rushing down, interrupted them and wanted to know what was going on, but my dad brushed her off nonchalantly. She switched to Chinese and I guess my dad finally gave in and muttered under his breath in Chinese what he and Paul just spoke about.
Back to me:
So the three of them are standing together and my mom was just BEAMING at me. (This was a first.)
She immediately exclaims "Congratulations!!"
Me: "uh.... umm, for what?"
Mom (patting Paul's arm): "Congratulations!! You know, Paul!! Welcome to the family!"
Paul is staring at my mother- like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
Me (understanding what just happened- kind of annoyed- but not wanting to give it away): "Um, yeah, thanks mom... ok, Paul you ready to go on our walk?"
Mom (thinking I'm stupid and not reacting the way she wanted me to): "Don't you understand?! Paul is going to ask you to marry him!!"
Me: "Oh my god, mom, ok! that's enough! Thanks for the information. OK, we have to go."
Paul is staring at my mom, his mouth getting bigger and bigger.
Mom (so excited, but still thinking I'm dense and wondering why I'm not jumping up and down or hugging Paul or them): "AND HE'S GOING TO ASK YOU ON THE 4TH OF JULY!!!"
At this point, I don't know who is more shocked- me or Paul- that my mom has just spilled the beans on a secret that was just told a minute or two ago. My dad, realizing that this was probably upsetting me said to my mother "Couldn't you just keep quiet for just a little bit? That was between me and Paul."
But, my mom, being in the right (as she always is, of course) just shrugged and was like "I'm excited. This is good news. Why can't I share good news?"
Me: "BECAUSE THAT IS PROBABLY THE ONE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT SECRET OF MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE!!! WHO DOES THAT?!?"
Mom: "Oh stop it. Don't be so dramatic. You knew it was going to happen anyway. Like you didn't know. Don't you want us to be excited for you? Don't be so grumpy all the time! You better talk nicer to Paul than you do to us or else he won't even marry you."
ARGH.... we went on our walk and I was fuming for a bit, but Paul, being ever the even-tempered one reasoned that it is difficult for my mother to contain excitement, and she just likes to be the center of attention, even if it means that she's doing a faux pas such as telling a secret. In the end, my mom was sort of right- I didn't have a doubt that Paul would propose, but at least it would've been nice to have the date a surprise... My sister was so mortified after hearing this story that she was like "Don't tell anyone this story!! I can't believe Mom did that!! I'm soooo embarassed... and I would be SOOOOOOOOOO mad if she did this to me!!!"
Go figure it's the first story of the new blog.
So the day that we were supposed to leave, my dad called me into his office and we had a little father-daughter chat, which was extra special because I think it was my first one ever. He said he was very happy and very proud of me, and that Paul was a very good guy. That was awesome, because secretly, my dad's approval is really important to me. Then he says something awkward like "Marriage can be difficult, but it's between the two of you. If you have any questions, let me know..." (I'm thinking, uh.... are you trying to ask me if I know about the birds and the bees?! Um, awkward!!!)
So I said, "Well, dad, I do have one question.... why couldn't you just keep this a secret? Mom telling the secret made me really upset."
Dad: "Well, I really didn't know that she would tell the secret. It seemed kind of obvious not to have to say anything. But, really, I don't get why Paul was asking me anyway. Shouldn't he have been asking you in the first place?!?"
And that's when I realized that my dad had no idea of the American tradition of the guy talking to the father about his intentions, so the whole catastrophe could have probably been averted! In China, the parents probably set up a couple from reading Chinese horoscopes and seeing a fortune teller, and then seeing whose family could gain extra acres of farmland or something.
By now, my boyfriend Paul and I had been dating for almost 2 years, although one of those years was spent apart (I was teaching English in Japan, so he came to visit me twice in Japan and we also met up in Hong Kong/China). I've always been wary of "love" and occasionally called "Daria", but I was convinced by the second date that Paul was my future husband. My parents fortunately liked him immediately, even though he is not Asian nor a doctor. They were probably SOOOO relieved that SOMEBODY loved me at my then ripe age of 32, and that I was not going to be an old maid forever. My dad used to tell me to "dumb it down because boys were scared of smart girls". Other advice included telling me to be more colorful: "Wear more pink instead of black!" But that is all another story.
Anyway, the sappy story goes on...
So, by May 2008, we had been dating blissfully for about 2 years, and we were discussing moving in together- I made it clear that neither I nor my parents would be happy with that unless we were at least engaged. We had planned a trip to California over the long Memorial Day weekend to celebrate a belated Mother's Day, my brother's and my niece's birthdays, so Paul took that opportunity to make his intentions known to my father- secretly, of course.
Paul and I were planning on going for a jog/walk at a nearby trail after breakfast, but I didn't pack any appropriate socks to go with my old sneakers so I asked my mom if I could borrow a pair of her socks. As we made our way upstairs, Paul took my dad aside so they could speak privately. Now, upstairs, my mom was getting fidgety, and wanted to know what Paul and my dad were talking about. She kept making excuses like "Dad doesn't know how to speak English! He won't understand what Paul is saying. I better go down and check on them and see what they're talking about." (My dad's English is probably better than my mother's.) I finally gave up holding my mom back and went to my room to put on my socks and shoes as she ran downstairs. When I was all ready to go, I came downstairs, and there are my parents and Paul, standing in the hallway.
In the meantime, Paul's account:
Paul, out of respect, decides to tell my father of his intentions to marry me- I guess because he knows that my family is super traditional, and he'd rather not risk any dangers of offending our Chinese traditions by asking me before he asked/told them. Anyway, so my dad was kind of taken off guard- I mean, this is the first time anyone had ever talked to him about something like this. But he was wholly supportive and asked Paul some responsible, if not intrusive, parent-type questions like whether he was planning on freelancing forever, or if he had a stable income, when he planned on proposing, that type of stuff. Paul assured him that he was gainfully employed and responsible and was planning on asking me in Nantucket, where we were going over the 4th of July weekend in just a few weeks. My mom, rushing down, interrupted them and wanted to know what was going on, but my dad brushed her off nonchalantly. She switched to Chinese and I guess my dad finally gave in and muttered under his breath in Chinese what he and Paul just spoke about.
Back to me:
So the three of them are standing together and my mom was just BEAMING at me. (This was a first.)
She immediately exclaims "Congratulations!!"
Me: "uh.... umm, for what?"
Mom (patting Paul's arm): "Congratulations!! You know, Paul!! Welcome to the family!"
Paul is staring at my mother- like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
Me (understanding what just happened- kind of annoyed- but not wanting to give it away): "Um, yeah, thanks mom... ok, Paul you ready to go on our walk?"
Mom (thinking I'm stupid and not reacting the way she wanted me to): "Don't you understand?! Paul is going to ask you to marry him!!"
Me: "Oh my god, mom, ok! that's enough! Thanks for the information. OK, we have to go."
Paul is staring at my mom, his mouth getting bigger and bigger.
Mom (so excited, but still thinking I'm dense and wondering why I'm not jumping up and down or hugging Paul or them): "AND HE'S GOING TO ASK YOU ON THE 4TH OF JULY!!!"
At this point, I don't know who is more shocked- me or Paul- that my mom has just spilled the beans on a secret that was just told a minute or two ago. My dad, realizing that this was probably upsetting me said to my mother "Couldn't you just keep quiet for just a little bit? That was between me and Paul."
But, my mom, being in the right (as she always is, of course) just shrugged and was like "I'm excited. This is good news. Why can't I share good news?"
Me: "BECAUSE THAT IS PROBABLY THE ONE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT SECRET OF MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE!!! WHO DOES THAT?!?"
Mom: "Oh stop it. Don't be so dramatic. You knew it was going to happen anyway. Like you didn't know. Don't you want us to be excited for you? Don't be so grumpy all the time! You better talk nicer to Paul than you do to us or else he won't even marry you."
ARGH.... we went on our walk and I was fuming for a bit, but Paul, being ever the even-tempered one reasoned that it is difficult for my mother to contain excitement, and she just likes to be the center of attention, even if it means that she's doing a faux pas such as telling a secret. In the end, my mom was sort of right- I didn't have a doubt that Paul would propose, but at least it would've been nice to have the date a surprise... My sister was so mortified after hearing this story that she was like "Don't tell anyone this story!! I can't believe Mom did that!! I'm soooo embarassed... and I would be SOOOOOOOOOO mad if she did this to me!!!"
Go figure it's the first story of the new blog.
So the day that we were supposed to leave, my dad called me into his office and we had a little father-daughter chat, which was extra special because I think it was my first one ever. He said he was very happy and very proud of me, and that Paul was a very good guy. That was awesome, because secretly, my dad's approval is really important to me. Then he says something awkward like "Marriage can be difficult, but it's between the two of you. If you have any questions, let me know..." (I'm thinking, uh.... are you trying to ask me if I know about the birds and the bees?! Um, awkward!!!)
So I said, "Well, dad, I do have one question.... why couldn't you just keep this a secret? Mom telling the secret made me really upset."
Dad: "Well, I really didn't know that she would tell the secret. It seemed kind of obvious not to have to say anything. But, really, I don't get why Paul was asking me anyway. Shouldn't he have been asking you in the first place?!?"
And that's when I realized that my dad had no idea of the American tradition of the guy talking to the father about his intentions, so the whole catastrophe could have probably been averted! In China, the parents probably set up a couple from reading Chinese horoscopes and seeing a fortune teller, and then seeing whose family could gain extra acres of farmland or something.
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